It's a bit of old news, but I've nothing else to write about so here goes. About a week ago, Apple tried to file a patent for its iPod interface software. However, the Jobs and Co. were unable to succesfully complete the transaction because the patent had already been granted... to Microsoft. Now Apple is forced to pay a licensing fee on every iPod ever sold.

Now, I'm no patent lawyer, but it seems logical that in order to obtain a patent you should have a working prototype or some proof you've come up with this thing or idea. Microsoft did not have an mp3 player in 2002 (when the patent was awarded). Yet here they are, clutching the patent and holding every iPod out there for ransom.

This is extortion, plain and simple. Billy and Steve-o saw this one coming a mile away, and are milking Apple for all they can get. It's insane. Apple developed the iPod. Whether it was insanely original or not, Apple also developed the iPod interface. Yet Microsoft was able to patent something they had no hand in whatsoever, and will make billions off every iPod ever sold.

Of course, Seattle Sleaze didn't get to be where they are through ethical business practices.

Yeah, the Grumpy Young Man is about to whine about reality shows. Guess what? Not really. I should hate reality shows. I've tried. But the Apprentice came out and I was intrigued at the idea of seeing business minds try to solve problems. The Law Firm has folllowed a similar trend and made me want to see young lawyers handle cases. And now, a new show has made this college student want to see television's take on his world.

Yes, enter Tommy Lee Goes to College. The excellent (sic) drummer takes on the University of Nebraska. I thought it would be good for a laugh, seeing the spaced-out Lee contend with issues that college students contend with. I was not disappointed, though it was often funny because of how staged it was, not because of Lee's reactions.

First, they bring Lee into the Chancellor's office to speak with him. Lee goes in, waves to some awe-struck students in the waiting room, and is called in. However, you'd see that all the students present in the waiting room when Lee entered where still there when his name was called. Yeah, it don't work that way. Chancellor, Registrar, whatever: You are gonna wait, a long time, if you are not a rock star.

Then, he got his housing. He entered a hall, picked his dorm room and then chose his roommate. Yeah, I don't know if Nebraska has a different system, but at Kentucky you apply for your top three choices of dorms and roommates months in advance, and hope you get it. I was lucky enough to never have been stuck with a crappy room or roommate but I certainly didn't have the power to choose from five of each at my discretion.

After getting settled, Lee's decorators came in. Enter a plasma TV, cappucino machine, full drum set... you get the idea. Um, yeah. What OTHER college student is gonna have this stuff in their room?! College students are generally poor, as you may know. You're usually lucky to have a ratty old couch, mini-fridge, and computer desk. And besides, if you had that much expensive stuff in there I bet it'd get jacked before long anyway.

Tommy looked dazed in all his classes, but did seem to be trying to get something into that airy head. He actually read the book for English class and had something quasi-insightful to say. But the tutor thing is ridiculous. His tutor is Natalie Riedmann, who I do not think was exactly chosen at random. Click the site to see why, if you didn't see the show. Real students get a random tutor in their subject area.

My favorite, though, was the band. Oh boy. The guy has been a drummer how long? His audition consisted of hitting each tenor drum a few times and then questioning the tuning. I mean, I'm aware that quads are a different beast from a rock drum set but still, he's a flippin' drummer! He should at least be able to pound out some sort of groove. And UN's band has high standards. They will bench you if you don't perform, and Lee was sucking it up out there. I mean, if anyone played like that in a marching band without a reputation behind them, they'd be lucky if they only got demoted to playing the cymbals. I realize he hasn't read music for a while and hasn't played marching drums in forever but he looked about as lost on the drums as I would, and I'm a trumpet player. It'll be real funny to see what happens when he has to march for real and put on the uniform.

So in summary, the show was a total farce but that's WHY it was funny. No college experience would ever be like this, with throngs cheering as you exit the bookstore and girls clamoring to be your companion (well, not for me anyway). And for the record, it was 51 minutes into the show before someone asked him about Pam Anderson. I would've put money on about 16.

The latest news from the land of magic and whimsy, also known as Washington DC, is that Bush and his cronies are formally against the new .xxx top-level domain proposed by ICANN for adult websites.(Source) The objection raises concerns that a "red-light" district will form on the internet, creating a haven of smut and filth.

HELLO?!?!

This is... THE INTERNET.

Porn is out there. Lots of it. You don't have to worry about creating a red-light district, it's called THE INTERNET. Cripes, there's a lot of filth out there and filth peddlers and a large market for it. Domain or not, it's gonna be there. The advantage to the domain is that all the porn is set aside into a category where people can go get it if they like, and parents can filter it out if they so choose. The .xxx domain was designed to HELP PROTECT children from being exposed to adult content.

And the administration is certainly well within their rights to oppose the domain, but as conservatives you'd think their argument would be that it restricts the free expression of speech. Instead, it's an argument of using government weight to legislate morality, or at least the perception of it. I won't reprint them here, but read the quotes at the bottom of the linked article by Rep. Upton, R-Mich and Sen. Liebermann, D-Conn. Also notice how the two were of different parties yet reached the same conclusion. Funny how that happened, huh?

Once More, From the Top...

Okay, unless I dream up something better, I'm going with "Grumpy Young Man". Seems appropriate. Cheers!